Mama-luia

There has been oodles and oodles of time spent navel-gazing writing and thinking about 'self-care' in the mommy blogosphere. When I click the latest link, I expect to discover a new and crucial revelation about the need to attend to one's own needs, but I find myself usually left wanting. "Self-care isn't selfish!" we are reminded endlessly. "Put on your own oxygen mask first!" To all of this I nod appreciatively, only to read on for a few sentences to uncover the benefits of getting a pedicure. Almost without fail, pedicures, beauty regimes and hot coffee drank in silence are given as examples of good self-care. I am here to say, enough already. It's time to change the conversation on "self-care." We live in a culture that celebrates the need to "treat yo'self." Writers online can't help but preface a silly statement with "this may seem like a first-world problem  but " and then proceed to show ho...

After almost three weeks of school, I'm finally getting around to talking about our back to school time for the 2017-2018 year. (Also, I nearly gasped typing the numbers "2018" for the first time; that year represents us being married for A DECADE!) This was a big year in our house, because THREE of our children are now in school. Yes, Noah is in Grade 3, which sounds so decidedly grown up, I could faint, Isaiah is in Grade 1, and teeny little Anna began Junior Kindergarten. The first day was not without Big Emotions, but not from the youngest who was being dropped off for the first time ever at school. Oh no. It was from our oldest. He had been away for the Labour Day long weekend on pilgrimage with Patrick, a 100km pilgrimage to be exact, and hadn't gotten home until 11pm the night before. I knew the night before that he would be exhausted the next morning and that would be a tricky start to third grade, and I was not wrong. What I hadn't considered, tho...

Summer-tiiiiiiime... and the livin' is... noisy. The livin' is noisy . At 6:45pm this evening I was already curled up in the fetal position on the couch. Elijah was in bed but the other three were all frolicking around, hours of remaining daylight beckoned to us to go experience the great outdoors but all I could think of was "bed... now... please!" Patrick looked at me ruefully and said "you are welcome to do this in an hour, but for now, hang in there!" In actual fact, the kids' antics today were pretty adorable. They spent a large portion of their afternoon getting ready a ventriloquism show for us, after I showed them some spectacular videos of a kid ventriloquist earlier today. You really need to watch the video! It's amazing. Actually, this one is even better: It's pretty sweet how eager they all are now to throw their voices. I've been playing a "self-care anthem" over and over lately, and it's so upli...

What's New  It appears I have never done a "What's New" since Elijah was born. (Previous posts here and here and here  and here  and here .) How is that even possible? Let's jump right in, shall we? Noah This wonderful fellow turned eight on Holy Saturday. He requested pancake stacks for breakfast (as seen in the above picture) and lemon meringue pie instead of cake for dessert. The following weekend we threw a Pioneer themed party for him, where we had his guests compete to see who could stack wood -- our wood -- the fastest. One guest said, "my mom should throw a party like this, because she always wants help  to get the wood stacked!" He is growing up so very much in ways that are hard to capture on a blog. His sense of humor has blossomed in a way that he and I can have 'inside jokes' now. /We both make Jim Halpert faces at the imaginary camera of life when one of the younger kids does something silly. via GIPHY So it...

Someone I dearly love was canonized two weeks ago. I have loved the little Saint from Calcutta for many years, so it was natural to throw a little party, just with my own family, in her honour. Colouring pages found here . Cupcake toppers found here . Slightly silly banner made from good-on-one-side paper and a blue coloured pencil  (by me, hence the unintentional asymmetry)  with some books from our shelf and a framed picture I keep by my kitchen sink  (oh and the leftover pompoms from Noah's First Communion, which was Isaiah's idea).   Shopping the house liturgically. My little sweetheart.  One of the ladies at Madonna House did his face-paint --  we had been there for the Heritage Festival --  so he decided he needed to put on this wig when he got home. "Indian food". (From a jar. Shrug .) Butter chicken and basmati rice. (And my favourite shoes... which are too tight now thanks to my most rec...

I saw a video pop up on my Facebook feed this week. I'm pretty sure it was titled "All we want for Mother's Day is..." It was a woman saying how we as mothers work so tirelessly 364 days a year, without hired help, without even sometimes the presence of extended family in our life, and just one day a year, we deserve the day "off." This woman said her dream was to be left alone in her room to sleep as late as she wanted, come out to eat a meal she didn't make and wouldn't have to clean up after, and then drink a mimosa by her pool. But mostly, she wanted to be alone. via GIPHY Or maybe have a get-together like this. It's hard to say I do understand this sentiment, of course. I can't remember my Myers-Briggs acronym but suffice to say, I am an introvert. I also do not have hired help, at least not regularly. (I do occasionally pay a babysitter to occupy the kids, but that's usually so I can catch up on housework, run errands by m...

Jen from Conversion Diary wrote about the ideas that changed her a while back, and I have been thinking about what ideas, if any, affected me similarly ever since I read that post. I've finally compiled my list of five. ~ 1 ~ Multiple subpersonalities I always thought it was indicative of instability or immaturity if a person acted very differently depending on who's company they were in. The goal of wellness, I thought, was to be as integrated as possible. My psychiatrist a while ago told me there is a school of thought that rather sees each person as a composite of many different subpersonalities, and each subpersonality or persona needs an opportunity to come to the forefront or else the whole person experiences unrest. This has completely revitalized my way of seeing myself, particularly as a mother. In my previous idea of "integration" I believed the ideal mother to be a nurturing, ever-patient, sit-on-the-floor-and-play-endless-games-of-peekaboo type. ...

I'm not sure whether I conveyed what I had intended to with my last post ; I am not wallowing around, feeling unattractive. While I certainly have moments of feeling insecure about this or that aspect of my appearance, for the most part, I look in the mirror and feel quite delighted by what I see . I believe myself to be beautiful. The problem is, to what extent do I need to 'enhance' or 'adorn' that beauty with physical things? That question can't possibly be answered right now. I think it will be a continuous process of examining my heart (as in, in dressing in a certain way, who am I trying to please? What am I trying to say about myself?). For now, I want to be a bit more practical... and fun! So here is a little sampling of beautiful things that are inspiring my upcoming Operation: Defrump-ify.  1. This dress from eshakti .  I love the colour, the neckline, the little cap sleeves, the embroidery.  It's gorgeous, I say! 2. ...

"Beauty will save the world." (So said Dostoevsky, so it must be true.) I have been thinking about this quotation a lot lately. I could easily make a case for beauty in the liturgy saving the world, for beauty in art -- broadly speaking -- for doing so; it seems perfectly sensible and true. Beauty, if you're up on your philosophy, is a transcendental, convertible with truth, goodness and being itself. Since God is all-good, and all-truth, He must also be all-beautiful . So things of beauty bring our hearts and minds to Him. This is simple enough for me to grasp and believe. What becomes more difficult is understanding how this should apply to me . I feel like I have two minds on this subject. On the one hand, I think too much an emphasis on external beauty is unhealthy. It can lead to vanity and insecurity, covetousness and materialism, and you-name-it sin. Plus it says in 1 Peter "your beauty should not come from outward adornment... Rather it should ...

I was twelve weeks postpartum with my first child when it happened. I had been at Mass with Patrick and Baby Noah when a woman I knew, but hadn't seen in a long time, approached me. She came to admire our sweet baby. She held him, complimented me on how adorable he was, and then asked how I was doing. I had begun to loathe that question, because depending on the day or my mood at that particular moment, it would reduce me to tears. I wasn't doing 'fine' as one is expected to say, but I also didn't feel like sharing that with just any old person. So I said, "Well pretty good, I mean, look how amazing he is!" gesturing to Noah while she held him. She looked relieved, but quickly asked for clarification, "You don't have any of that 'postpartum depression' do you?" Her tone of voice betrayed volumes about her true thoughts on the matter. "Well, I haven't been diagnosed with it..." I faltered. "But one can be al...

With Christmas now officially over (as of Sunday; we finally took our fire hazard tree down), I have to face facts that it's winter . Not the poetic Christmas-y winter, but the Narnian winter before the four Pevensie children change things for the good. Of course, things are relatively mild here during these months, but even still, the shorter days, the colder nights, the misplaced mittens, boots, and tuques that I frantically try to hunt down at 8:55 so we can get to 9:00 Mass 'on time' -- all these are a recipe for a shorter fuse for me and a less than jovial home for the fellows with whom I live. "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I take these (silly) words to heart, so much so that I am officially taking January off. I'm not trying to tackle big projects, I'm letting some discipline issues slide, and I am getting out of the house as much as  I can. Proof: I'm not even quite sure what this piece of clothin...

Here is a 7 Quick Takes from the World o'Craine. Unfortunately this will be photo-free because Patrick has the GOOD laptop writing a massive term paper, the one where our photos are stored. I'm stuck on the one that Isaiah discovered... and promptly removed 5 keys. Including the Enter key. But my lack of blogging is disappointing me. NOT because I think I owe my readers posts, but because I like keeping these wee records of our life. I would prefer to write something eloquent, or have super jaw-dropping photos of my beautiful kids, but neither is going to happen tonight.  Given that "a thing worth doing is a thing worth doing badly", here goes: 1. I finished my Christmas shopping! BEFORE ADVENT BEGAN! This is an unheard of accomplishment in my life, even pre-motherhood. But I am so relieved. It's worth explaining that I primarily bought everything online, made spreadsheets that checked off people as I bought for them, and pared down who I shop for. I r...