Beauty and mothering

"Beauty will save the world."

(So said Dostoevsky, so it must be true.)

I have been thinking about this quotation a lot lately.

I could easily make a case for beauty in the liturgy saving the world, for beauty in art -- broadly speaking -- for doing so; it seems perfectly sensible and true. Beauty, if you're up on your philosophy, is a transcendental, convertible with truth, goodness and being itself. Since God is all-good, and all-truth, He must also be all-beautiful. So things of beauty bring our hearts and minds to Him.

This is simple enough for me to grasp and believe.

What becomes more difficult is understanding how this should apply to me.

I feel like I have two minds on this subject. On the one hand, I think too much an emphasis on external beauty is unhealthy. It can lead to vanity and insecurity, covetousness and materialism, and you-name-it sin. Plus it says in 1 Peter "your beauty should not come from outward adornment... Rather it should be that of your inner self" (3:-3-4).

I believe that.

One of the most beautiful women in the world was Blessed Mother Teresa. Her smile radiated such profound love and warmth that it is impossible not to see her face and not be moved.

But, of course, Mother Teresa was a nun. She has an entirely different role to play in the world than a wife and mother.

Which brings me back to me, and that Dostoevsky quotation. If beauty can save the world, do I have a responsibility to bring beauty, by my very self, into other people's lives? 

I believe I can do that at least in my home. I place some flowers on the table or decorate a little banner with the children and their hearts are lifted up.

But when it comes to my own appearance, I stop. Perhaps my own insecurities are getting in the way. (That could be it's own blog post... but... I will burn that bridge some other day.) It's as though to some extent I question whether I am 'worthy' of a pretty piece of jewelry or a new article of clothing.

And there is always The Budget. I haven't had my hair cut since September of 2012 (unless you count a trim I gave myself before Christmas). Almost my entire wardrobe is made up of hand-me-downs from my relatives. I look at our monthly or yearly expenses and tend to wonder whether, you know, food and paying off our van is more important than more clothes when I already have clothes. (Not flattering, well-shaped or even stain-free clothes, but I digress.)

Yet I know how uplifting it was to me before I had children to see a mother with her children out and about, looking truly happy and, dare I say it, put together. Of course the crucial thing was that she was happy-looking, that whole 1 Peter inner beauty-business. But it also made a difference that she made an effort to look pretty. Somehow that showed me that even when one pours oneself out into their children, they don't lose their own identity. Rather, they claim it; that is how a mother truly becomes more herself.

Now that I have three, and I have been told already that I have a "big family" (I suppose more because we had three kids in 4.5 years, not because three is an unusual number? I'm not sure), I am in a different category of motherhood; it is clearly my life's work because I have been at it full-time for almost half a decade. I want to present an image that I am happy and at peace in the life I have.

I don't think certain clothes or makeup are THE answer, but perhaps, part of it? 

I welcome your thoughts!

***

What (or more precisely, Whom) I Wore on Sunday.

I really think I need to get my ears pierced.

(And yes, I have been debating this for about 5 years now.... 

I would like to just decide for once and for all.)

She is about as sweet as can be. How can you resist that smile?

Here she is supervising the boys doing their Annunciation craft.

They cut out flowers from seed catalogues and pasted the word "FIAT" on a piece of bristol board.

That, and we ate S'mores for dessert tonight with marshmallows roasted on our wood stove.

That was about as liturgical as I got.