Various

My mind is a little chaotic these days. Don't come for a stay unless armed with Percozet or red wine for yourself, rippled potato chips for me. It is a little jungle in here.

Yet in an effort to catalogue the various odd happening in my life, I am writing amidst my inner "Squirrel!" 

• If your toddler is interested in sampling a loved one's herbal laxative tea, don't let him. He might just like the taste, and ask for another sip... followed by another... followed by it's efficacious results.
• Driving under the influence of a) pregnancy hormones and b) Cat Steven's Cat's in the Cradle is never, never wise. So much ugly-crying.
• Date nights might be essential for some couples, but you know what I've realized? I am with my husband all the time because he works from home. Sometimes what we need is a 'Date' Night with friends instead of each other. It gives us something to talk about other than, say, depressing news from Lifesite or the tantrum du jour.
• Some times while washing the dishes, you turn around and see this:

for no reason other than:

why not?

It makes my heart smile.

• When the subject of kindergarden 'curriculum' comes up with the other moms at your son's preschool program comes up, it's best to keep your mouth shut. Why is that? Well, I for one was suggesting to another mom a program for preschool-aged kids (she had asked; I have heard it recommended) when they all rebutted me "but that's a playgroup, they don't have a curriculum" and I like a fool -- fool! -- said, "but how much 'curriculum' do even kids in primary do? Isn't it a lot of 'play' too?" 

Crickets. Followed by shocked and horrified stares.

(Not to suggest teachers don't do immense planning into how they prepare the activities and play-spaces, but... free play is better for kids that young. I'm serious.)

• Digging up worms in the compost bin is great fun. We had to empty it, and give all our BEAUTIFUL soil to the municipality because I am not adding soil to my packing list when we move! Noah promptly named them all -- Jacob, Thinworm-Bigworm and Wormy-Worm (Part 1, 2 and 3).

Baby Lemon

Just the other day, Isaiah walked over to me in the kitchen and said, "Hi Baby Lemon!" to my belly, and it stuck. He was a Baby Appleseed when in the womb, so it seemed appropriate to make this child a fruit as well. Funnily enough, when I looked prenatal development up on Babycenter.ca, I found out at 14 weeks gestation, this baby's current age, he or she is actually the size of a lemon! What a funny coincidence!

I also think it's appropriate because I can't get enough lemon-water, at Little Lemon's constant request. Better yet, Perrier water with a slice or two of lemon. Little Baby Lemon, your requests are already so refined!

Sidebar: if you feel like amusing yourself immensely 

via the Internet, 

look up "baby lemon" on Google images, and find gems such as this.

Poor, poor little baby.

In any case, while this child will be born into a house of wildness and noise, our little family is already full of love for the child we have never met. Noah is constantly asking me if he can talk to the baby, or simply rest his head on my growing belly. He simply can't wait to hold his new sibling, kiss him or her, and even help change diapers.

Isaiah loves Baby Lemon deeply, too. Of course the mystery of a baby actually growing inside my body doesn't make nearly as much sense to him at 23 months old as it does to Noah, but he loves his brother or sister very much, too. He loves to shout "Hi Baby!" at his sibling through my belly button, then occasionally try to jump on my stomach while shouting "drivethecar, drivethecar!". He loves playing with dolls, or admiring babies when we are out shopping, so I can imagine he will be a lovely big brother to our growing Baby Lemon.

And of course Patrick is over the moon! He was the one I insisted on taking a pregnancy test what seems like forever ago. My period was late, but only by a few days, and since I had had false negatives with both boys, I thought there was no point taking one. Either I wasn't pregnant, and so it would be negative, or I was, but it would still be negative. Right? So my reaction, hanging out in the bathroom that morning when I saw two pink lines, was just shock. Joyful shock, to be sure, but shock nonetheless. Patrick, however, was beaming, because he "knew" already.

I simply can't wait to see him with our new baby. Babies are his specialty, if you will (well perhaps children in general are, but he does have a certain Baby Whisperer gene that I never inherited). He calms them immediately in his strong arms, and moons over them in a way that is so manly and adorable. The sight of him with one of our babies in a ring sling is beautiful!

I am so grateful for his gentleness with our children, his supportiveness towards me during the post-partem period, and his tender love for our babies. Both Noah and Isaiah recognized his voice soon after birth -- how amazing to see their eyes searching the room for where a familiar, beloved noise was coming from. I am sure it's because Patrick talks to our babies directly, leaning in close to my belly and asking them how they're doing and telling them how much he loves them. He has already started bonding with Baby Lemon and it brings me so much joy.

I am so grateful for this baby. I have no explanation as to why God keeps entrusting His souls to me and Patrick, sinners that we are, but each of these children are helping us to grow closer to Him. They are such gifts. I am already seeing what a blessing Baby Lemon is to his or her siblings, and to our extended family. Our joy is growing.

The Big 0-4

I remember reading a few months back Amanda Soule's blog post about her son's fourth birthday, and feeling excitement and joy at what was to come in the life of our oldest:

"I do so love four. This fourth time around for me, I think I can safely say that it's one of my very favorite ages. Coming out a bit from the early years of rapid growth and intense development, who they are begins to really emerge in definitive and unique ways."

I see that already, too. I am so delighted in the little person Noah is becoming. It is quite wonderful and surprising all at once to see him emerge as:

funny, creative, imaginative, opinionated, compassionate, clever, enthusiastic, 'game' for any sort of adventure or excursion, curious, rambunctious, introspective

and much more, all rolled into a sweet little boy who loves to cuddle, be read to, paint, explore the outdoors, play with Daddy, and generally live, laugh and be with the people he loves.

Several days before his birthday he delighted me by asking if he could have a gramophone to play music at his party. What a funny little old soul he can be at times! 

He also requested a "knights and princess party, with a shield cake" for him and his wee friends. I haven't gotten around to arranging that (eep) but we will do it, very soon, because this is a rather bittersweet birthday for the little one who is going to say farewell to Nova Scotia rather soon.

And without further ado,

 What We Did on Noah's Fourth Birthday

 He requested waffles, bacon and strawberry-banana smoothies for breakfast. 

In order to make enough smoothies for everyone, I put the ingredient in a stockpot and used my hand-blender! Ha!

Isaiah wanted to eat his waffle in tact. 

Okeedokee.

My parents showed up for a visit. Dad asked in advance if he and Noah could bake cookies together. Well why not?!

(By the way, this photo makes me feel very, very sentimental right now.)

Later that day our parish priest came to greet Noah and bring him a small gift and Noah, like the little gentlemen he is, offered him tea and cookies "that I made myself!" 

Isaiah can't get enough of "Nanny-Nana" 

(he calls her that to tease her, as she is decidedly a Na-na, not a Nan-ny)

Dinner at Swiss Chalet, as per Noah's request. 

I'm not sure what Isaiah just did, but judging by my reaction and that of my mother-in-law's, it was uproariously funny

Receiving a new pirate ship from his paternal grandparents!
 It plays music (rather loudly...)
 and even launches cannons

Noah looked exactly, I mean exactly, like my father-in-law from birth

(down to the little cleft in the chin)

Sassy?

And yet another Cake Wreck. He saw this snowman in a back-issue of Martha Stewart and loved it, so he asked for a cake with four of them on top, with candles on their hats. He did this all the way back in January.

Well these snowmen were made from ice cream, as per the instructions, but they began to melt on the way to Swiss Chalet, and didn't really recover their shape properly. Also, I didn't make enough icing so the sides of the cake are looking sparse. Sigh.

He loved it, though, and the waitress told me the little snowmen were 'adorable' when I asked her if we could store them in the restaurant freezer while we ate our dinners.

All in all, it was a happy day. We are so blessed by this adorable little boy!

"It's all about empowerment"

A more PG foray into blogging.

Every Friday I take Noah to a little preschool program in our community. He loves it, I mean loves it, and I enjoy being able to take him, while my generous mother stays home with Isaiah. It's something we both look forward to.

Recently a public health nurse showed up on the scene. During the first hour, the moms sit out and drink coffee and gab. Occasionally a guest speaker comes and gives us some tips on parenting. I always would prefer my silence and/or gab-time, but I humor them by listening; I'm polite like that.

Anyway the public health nurse came to tell us how to pack healthy lunches for our kids. I was mildly interested, looked at the Canada's Food Guide she passed around, and nodded vehemently as part of the pack, "hand-washing makes all the difference!"

Then the nurse got off on a tangent about sex-ed. She gives the lectures at the local schools, and was regaling us with a 'hysterical' story of a child projectile vomiting while she told his class in graphic detail about sex.

Sorry, I fail to see why a kid being so upset about having his sense of modesty betrayed that he actually threw up is funny.

She summed up her mission of taking away the mystery and wonder of the sexual act and reducing it to a mere bodily function cheerfully: "in the end, it's all about empowerment."

I shuddered. "Empowerment." Sure, that word can be used in a wholesome, pro-life way. I've heard it said that "NFP empowers women" and so forth, so depending on your usage, that could be a very positive way of speaking.

Yet I found myself unpacking that phrase over and over in mind, long after I had taken Noah home, long after he was even in bed at night.

"Empowerment."

Perhaps it has been the recent disturbing news of a young woman having her life destroyed -- by rape, then having the images of the very assault being spread over the Internet -- that has my emotions raw.

The notion of 'empowerment' leads people into thinking that might equals right, that their desires trump another's, that, in short, lust and exploitation are okay. 

Even if a married couple, even under the most licit circumstances, tries to 'empower' themselves through their conjugal relationship, they have missed the point and used one another in the process. There is no room for 'consensual empowerment' or 'mutual empowerment' in chaste love. 'Power' should never enter into the picture.

It's about the gift of oneself. Laying down one's life for another. Sacrificing for the beloved. The only time 'power' becomes a consideration is when the couple consider in awe what power their procreative love is together.

.... These are heady concepts for children as young as mine. How exactly do I plan to teach them these ideals?

I can't claim to have it all figured out, nor will I ever, but I do have some ideas.

For one, my husband and I are deeply in love with one another, and we make no mistake in expressing that in simple ways in front of our children. Imagine my heart's delight, not to mention amusement, when at dinner one night, Noah asked me, "What are you and Daddy going to do tonight? When we are in bed?" I paused to collect my thoughts, and then he said "You should play Settlers of Catan!"

He knows that's one of our favourite dates-at-home. Isn't that cute? He wants us to keep having a loving marriage.

Also, I can communicate self-gift to them by not sighing over their requests, their whininess, their spilled milk and dirty diapers. They may not understand the meaning of this, and they may not expect me to behave any differently, but at least it's giving them an idea how family life should work.

Patrick has lots of ways of showing them this, too. The way he loves me, forgives me, is attentive and sweet to me. None of this could be missed by them. Slowly and surely he is showing them how to love a woman by laying down his life for her.

Finally, being open to life is a huge communication of this self-gift, even to our young children. In the past few months they have seen me laying down my life in a very specific way as I grow their little brother or sister. They have seen their father accept so patiently my non-efforts at so much, as I have been too ill to be much use.

Today I had a little cry when Noah asked me if we could go upstairs and do something together in his room (I don't remember what it was) and I said in a solemn way, "I can't right now. I think I am going to vomit."

He responded, "It's okay if you throw up in my room. I will clean it up for you."

Part of our life as a family is to welcome children as a blessing. As young as they are, they already grasp that, somehow. I will take that over 'empowerment' any day.

Busy times

Just in case you were wondering what I meant when I said things are 'a bit hectic' right now, I have some photographic evidence.

 My kitchen floor.

 Every pantry item, pot, pan and dish in boxes everywhere. Unless of course, said boxes were ransacked Isaiah.

Patrick diligently painting the cabinets. 

Who knew they'd need to be primed, then painted, and then given a second coat of paint?

My kitchen counters. 

One of the few things I am somewhat obsessed with is having them clear. 

Clear work space, clear mental space. This seems to work with me.

*

This chaos has continued for five days and we're not quite done yet.

Also, because the wet paint is a magnet to run-full-tilt-into-walls-type toddlers, as well as the boxes of dishes (including our irreplaceable china!), the kids and I have been out of the house a lot.

A lot.

(Which maybe sounds fun, and can be at times, but it's hard to keep on top of their routine, not to mention the daily chores, when we aren't in our own home day after day).

*

This is what I've meant when I told 'life is hectic.'

I've refrained from talking about this specifically on my blog for sometime now, because I always thought I would need to do a sweeping explanation of the several-years-long process of discernment that have led up to these crazy home renos, painting and so forth.

So here goes:

We are selling our (beloved!) house by the sea. We are packing up our life. We are moving to a small town in Ontario.

There. I said it. Now it is official.

I hope it goes without saying that we haven't made this decision lightly. We love Nova Scotia, and this is where so many of our friends live, as well the children's grandparents, on both sides. So we have debated, hemmed, hawed, prayed for guidance over and over, sought spiritual direction -- you name it. And this is the decision we have come to. It is bittersweet on many levels, but we do have lots to look forward to when a) finally list our house {probably by next week! Please God!} and b) have someone buy it.

{PS It is pretty, we're doing work on it, it's on 3/4 an acre of land overlooking the water and at a good price. Spread the word, if you can!)

The town we are moving to, assuming a) and b) above actually take place is one where we have lived for several years, both for school and for our brief stints working before we were married. We have many friends there and in the surrounds, as well as a much-shorter car ride to my sister's home (yay! The boys playing with their cousins more than once a year!). There is a really lovely parish there where beautiful liturgies are offered every day. There are oodles of kids of different ages running hither and yon. And a wonderful religious community nearby where we receive strength in living out our vocation by their radical witness.

All of this is a huge change from what life has been like for us. And I don't operate under rose-coloured glasses that the place we are moving is Edenic. Far from it. The winters are nastier than anything I have ever experienced (which we don't take lightly given my Seasonal Affected Disorder), there is another season that is simply called "Black Fly Season" and it's a long, long drive to the nearest Walmart (Dear Patrick is quite happy about that. I will learn to love it, I guess, as I in principle oppose shopping there. Not so much in practice).

(Sidebar: This song played on the radio when I used to live there soon after Patrick and I started dating. I'd wipe down tables at the little diner where I worked and smile wryly at how well the words seemed to fit the little village I had come to know and love.)

We are excited, however. Not only will it be good for the kids to be closer to... well... other kids (because despite my best efforts and hopes, I simply don't have it in me to drive the 25-40 minutes to visit my friends with kids around here especially often), and we will all be closer to my sister and her family (I'm saying it again because I am so excited!), we will also be closer to my husband's co-workers. It will allow him to work out of the house a couple days which will be great for him and for me and the children, too. 

(I'll never forget the first time Patrick video-Skyped with his boss. His desk was facing the glass door. As I attempted to straddle a baby gate, wearing yoga pants no less, with a kid in my arms in a tantrum about to go to time-out I hear my husband's boss say "Hi Jenna!"

Oh. Hi.)

In sum, this is what we've come to conclude God wants for us. Noah is getting very excited at the prospect, and every time he says something about it, Patrick and I smile at each other. It seems to just 'fit.'

Also, we have been tremendously blessed and encouraged by the support our own parents have shown us. I'm sure this is not at all easy for them, but they are truly understanding and supportive of our reasons for moving, and more than willing to come visit when we do. We are so grateful.

 So... there you have it! Busy times!

Alleluia, indeed

Happy, happy, happy Easter 
to the wonderful handful of people who read Mamaluia!

I am delighted it is Easter, finally, as the Lent that just passed felt like the longest one I can remember. But somehow griping doesn't suit the joy that we're experiencing during this holy Feast. So today I just want to share a few snippets of joy from the last 40 days in the life of my little family.

Before Lent began, Patrick and I were discussing what we were giving up for Lent over dinner with the boys, and Noah chimed in and said "I want to give up my little table."

His little table is where he plays with toys, does colouring books, and occasionally he eats his snack there with his brother. (In reality it's simply a coffee table we bought at a church flea market for $15, but with a few kid-sized chairs, it does the preschooler/toddler trick.) So on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, we had one last 'fancy' snack there, and then we placed it in Daddy's office until Lent was over.

I'm always impressed when he decides to participate in Lent these ways. It's not something we expect of him, naturally, but it's so sweet when he wants to join in and observe the Church calendar with us.

(You'll recall last year he gave up blueberry muffins, again, unprompted by us.)

So it only seemed fitting to serve our Easter Sunday brunch at that same little table after the long, long Lent our family underwent. We ate all our kid-friendly favourites: bacon, waffles, watermelon, Baby Bel cheese wheels and orange juice 'spiked' with gingerale.

Isaiah, in his own way, got into Lent too. His favourite word, as you know, is "Alleluia" so he certainly enjoyed helping Noah finger-paint an Alleluia banner before Lent began and then watching us 'bury' it under a purple runner on their toy cabinet. Yet he wasn't so keen on being told by his big brother, in his growliest voice possible, "Don't say 'Alleluia' ever, ever again! Not until Easter!"

So... on Easter Sunday morning when he toddled into our room, at 5:50 of course, Patrick greeted him with "Happy Easter! Christ is Risen!" and he immediately responded by singing a heartfelt Alleluia.

So cute.

Also, for Holy Week, in the past we have taken our children to all of the Triduum liturgies. I was unsure whether this would be a good idea this year, especially since our parish's Vigil began at 9. We managed to attend Holy Thursday Mass in Halifax at the much more reasonable hour of  6pm, and, nicely enough, with my parents, for extra baby-wrangling hands to help (yes, it takes four adults to restrain Isaiah properly at Mass).

Good Friday was beautiful, as always, and the weather was positively spring-like. Imagine our hearts' delight in seeing not one but both boys actually go up and venerate the Cross.

The Vigil... well... we put both boys to bed at 6:45, slightly earlier than normal, and woke them up at 8:50 for Mass. Or, rather, we picked them up, still sleeping, out of their beds and wrapped them in their blankets and walked across the street for Mass. Since the church was dark, they both we are able to doze a little. Shortly into Mass, however, like by about the second reading, Isaiah started to lose it. I was just so very tired, and the idea of walking him around the back for the next two hours seemed foolish.

So we went home. Noah, however, wanted to stay with Daddy, and they both had a wonderful time. (I love when they make their own little memories together!). It was a good idea to take Isaiah back, because we both curled up on his little floor-bed, and I sang to him.

Restful. Joyful. How fitting for Easter.

Easter Sunday was wonderful. Both of Patrick's sisters were in Nova Scotia for the weekend so we had big brunch with all of them at chez-in-laws. I devoured everything in sight with a grateful appetite for... everything! And the sweet boys loved their Easter egg hunts (one with their Gram and Grandpa, one at our home).

Then off to my parents' home where they prepared an awesome turkey dinner and my dear mother, who always frets a little about having enough food, was worried that four pies, two cheesecakes and several dozen egg-shaped shortbreads weren't enough dessert. For 11 people. Two of whom are small children.

And now during the Octave after grace before meals (when he thinks of it) Noah cues us by counting to three, and we all shout "Alleluia."

Alleluia, indeed, Little One.

5 Favourites

So I decided to go ahead today and write a 5 Favourites post for the lovely Hallie's linkup.You see, life is a bit hectic right now, and blogging is my favourite form of recreation (next to eating Doritos doing calligraphy while listening to Mozart).

1. Instant Age Rewind Eraser by Maybelline

I am makeup illiterate. I'm intimidated by the huge wall of products when I walk in a drugstore. What are mineral powders? What's up with lipstick that's claims to stay on all day? (It's cakey and unnatural feeling, that's what.) I become terrified by the well-coiffed painted-face twenty-something who asks me if I need any help, and so I always become completely dry-mouthed, say, "No, I'm fine," and back away quickly to an aisle where I can buy 'safe' things like baby wipes and Tylenol.

On Christmas Eve, though, I decided I would swallow my pride and pick up some makeup to pretty up my holiday. I got the nerve to say, "What should I do about these?" while pointing to my permanent under-eye circles. So the sales lady suggested this little miracle worker. Now I will never, ever go back to not owning this! I went from looking perpetually tired (true) and iron-deficient (actually not true, according to my latest blood work) to looking fairly fresh-faced and rested!

It applies very easily, even for clumsy me, and I can manage to put it on, and a swipe of mascara, faster than I can brush my teeth and hair in the morning.

Can't recommend it enough.

(My twenty-two month old is also a fan, as I caught him dousing his own undereye area with it recently. Now I store it up on the top shelf of the medicine chest.)

2. Michael Jackson (not Justin Timberlake)

I rediscovered my love for his music today while driving. "Beat It" came on the radio, and I just blared it.

It may one of the catchiest songs ever. 

Later, the song "I Just Wanna Love You" by Justin Timberlake came on  the radio and I winced at how blatantly derivative it was. The only reason Justin Timberlake is kind of popular is he is doing his best to be Michael Jackson.  

(Wow, did I seriously just mention JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE on my blog?!) 

(Also, I take comfort that one of my favourite Catholic homeschooling/knitting/crafting/Waldorf-y bloggers, Grace, also appears to love Michael Jackson too.)

3. Clorox disinfectant wipes

Oh, I know, aren't I just an eco-bummer? Shouldn't I use rags made from my leftover felting projects spritzed with white vinegar?*

In the words of my almost four-year-old, "maybe yes and maybe no."

Are Clorox wipes bad for the environment? Sure.

Not nearly as frugal as reusable cloths? Sigh, true.

Do they also clean up messy counters and sinks fast so I can actually get to the other million things I need to do? Absolutely.

(We have a winner.)

* Just to clarify, I have never 'felted'. My idea of crafting always starts and ends with glue guns, and maybe popsicle sticks.

4. This tea cosy

c/o MadebyMeCraftsUK at etsy.com

Tea is a happy ritual for my little family. It's one of my favourite things, to make my husband or boys a cup of tea when they ask. The children especially love knocking on the work-at-home Daddy's office door and telling him his tea is ready. It's a small thing, but it makes us all feel so happy.

Our current is cosy could best be described as 'serviceable.' I don't notice how funny looking it is until we have company over, and then I wish we had something prettier. This cute cosy, though, would spruce up the oft-repeated event in our daily lives of tea time (that is, about six times a day, literally) and be nice enough to bring out for guests.

5. "Noah's Ark" by Peter Spier 

There's a reason why Sonlight homeschooling curriculum and Michael O'Brien's A Landscape with Dragons both recommend this book. It is almost completely wordless, which had me a bit skeptical -- "how exactly do I do a read-aloud with only pictures to go from?" -- but once I delved into it with my children, all of us were completely blown away.

Spier's wonderful illustrations are so thought-provoking and they have stirred up such wonderful conversations in our home. Perhaps my favourite picture is of Noah sitting at a table at night looking near despair while mice run round him, animal dung piles up in corners, and I can't help but think how long that sojourn on the ark must have felt for him! 

Oh, yes, and the gorgeous picture of him embracing his wife on the deck of the ark with the olive branch in his hand. The the joy, the relief they show at their impending freedom is so moving.

(Consider this my little plug to exposing your children to literature. Not just any ol' books. I detest that oft-used expression to justify children reading mindless rubbish, "well at least they're reading." I will save that rant for another day, though.)