7 Hacks for Long Car Trips with Kids
I have very few pearls of wisdom to offer in my career as a mother. Potty-training? I have only empathy -- and maybe my signature mixed drink, a Pomegranate San Pallegrino with gin -- to give when it comes to that topic. Getting your youngster to read at a precocious age, even just a plain old median age? Let's just say I'm working on self-publishing my manual -- "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Mind-Numbing, Hair-Greying, Lifestyle-Questioning Lessons." It's sure to be a hit.
What I do have some experience with, and feel confident in giving advice in, is road trips + parenting. More specifically, road trip hacks. You see, Pinterest boasts of images of carefully selected clothing in individual Ziploc bags to minimize on packing. Cute road trip car game printables. Blah blah blah.
Here's my headshot I'll be using for my Parenting Advice column
in "What Not to Do" magazine.
in "What Not to Do" magazine.
What I do have some experience with, and feel confident in giving advice in, is road trips + parenting. More specifically, road trip hacks. You see, Pinterest boasts of images of carefully selected clothing in individual Ziploc bags to minimize on packing. Cute road trip car game printables. Blah blah blah.
If that's your thing, why by all means, do it! But that's not my thing. Couldn't pull that off if I tried.
Yet we have driven our family of six for 16+ hour road trips at least once a year, and not only lived to tell about it, but actually enjoyed it enough to keep doing it. And despite my lack of competence in a plethora of parenting-related topics, I have been actually asked for my advice about this several times. So I thought I'd finally compile my road trip hacks into a blog post for those interested.
Excessively awkward family photo, but we're in front of GREEN GABLES, people.
And... we drove there.
We all kind of melted with joy over that experience. Totally worth the crazy-long car ride.
1.
I get exhausted by more than three hours of continuous driving and it becomes actually unsafe for me to keep behind the wheel beyond that. So long road trips are impossible for me, at least as a driver. But I love being navigator with my husband as driver. (In fact, that's how we started our marriage, with a road trip around the entire province of Newfoundland, where I famously once fell asleep while LEADING the Rosary. I will not live that one down; thanks, Patrick.) Likewise, I'm great at keeping the kids occupied and happy while he drives.
So we know our driving personalities. I just can't manage it well, so he takes over. But just as I tire out eventually (much sooner than he), Patrick can't drive through the night. Sure, if we did it that way, we'd have the kids sleeping for a solid 7 or 8 hours of the trip, which sounds nice, because it would be quiet! But he gets too tired driving in the middle of the night. So we compromise, and leave as early as possible (5 am is ideal), so the little ones can fall back asleep for a bit of the drive. Then they always sleep on the last portion, too.
So this advice also works for us because we haven't been successful in spending a night in a hotel. It's such a procedure getting four kids to fall asleep in hotel beds that we'd rather plow through our trip in one long shot.
Now we try to be efficient in our timing -- we want to get quickly to our destination so we can enjoy being there. BUT if you view the 16-18 hours in a car as torture to white-knuckle through, the kids will pick up on that. Plan for fun in the car. Don't say "how can we survive this?" but... "how can we most enjoy this as a family?" That way, they might be up to a road trip again the following year!
As part of my "how can we most enjoy this?" attitude, I plan for small stocking-stuffer like things to be opened up at various intervals on the trip. It affords time when they inevitably get squirrely, because I'll point to the dashboard clock and say "in fifteen minutes, you get another surprise bag!" I aim for one about every three hours of awake time in the car.
I buy things like crayons and notepads. Colouring books. Stickers. Window markers. A toonie to buy a snack of their own choosing at the next stop. A lollipop. Small things like that from the Dollar store, and place them in paper bags to "wrap" them. The level of excitement they get over these trinkets is quite sweet, and totally worth it to stretch out the long times between them.
Also... these bags make a discipline tactic. When you're cruising down the highway, how can you put a kid in time-out who keeps poking his brother? Or won't stop whining needlessly? By threatening to take away one of their surprise bags, of course! Works. like. a. charm.
So, not deep advice. But practical!
We try and make as few stops as possible, so whenever the car isn't in motion, everyone is hustled into the bathroom, to use it (obviously) but also to stretch their legs, see a sight or two, get out of the blasted car for a minutes.
I have had the experience of a kid who claimed they didn't "need to go" when we stopped, but then complaining only ten minutes later that they now do.
So... no more. Everyone goes at each stop. Ditto for diaper changes, breastfeeding.
Or at least, your very kind neighbour who will watch your kids for an hour while you get your teeth cleaned.
We have an audible subscription and it's served us well at home on many a day, but especially on car rides. Of course, given the age range of our kids (almost 9 down to almost 2), it's not always easy to pick a book that will satisfy all the listeners, so we trade off -- Anna likes "Blueberries for Sal," "The Pout-Pout Fish" and "Harold and the Purple Crayon." So she gets 20 minutes, then the boys get 20 minutes. We all love the Little House series, though. Cherry Jones reads it magnificently. We also all agree on "Henry Huggins," read by Neil Patrick Harris, and "Mr. Popper's Penguins."
I truly believe road trips are a fun family excursion! Which is why we're going on one only next week.
Ahem.
Say a prayer for a safe drive because Canada is obnoxious in March; we hope every year it will actually feel like spring, but alas, it almost never does.
Yet we have driven our family of six for 16+ hour road trips at least once a year, and not only lived to tell about it, but actually enjoyed it enough to keep doing it. And despite my lack of competence in a plethora of parenting-related topics, I have been actually asked for my advice about this several times. So I thought I'd finally compile my road trip hacks into a blog post for those interested.
Excessively awkward family photo, but we're in front of GREEN GABLES, people.
And... we drove there.
We all kind of melted with joy over that experience. Totally worth the crazy-long car ride.
1.
Know your driving personality.
I get exhausted by more than three hours of continuous driving and it becomes actually unsafe for me to keep behind the wheel beyond that. So long road trips are impossible for me, at least as a driver. But I love being navigator with my husband as driver. (In fact, that's how we started our marriage, with a road trip around the entire province of Newfoundland, where I famously once fell asleep while LEADING the Rosary. I will not live that one down; thanks, Patrick.) Likewise, I'm great at keeping the kids occupied and happy while he drives.
So we know our driving personalities. I just can't manage it well, so he takes over. But just as I tire out eventually (much sooner than he), Patrick can't drive through the night. Sure, if we did it that way, we'd have the kids sleeping for a solid 7 or 8 hours of the trip, which sounds nice, because it would be quiet! But he gets too tired driving in the middle of the night. So we compromise, and leave as early as possible (5 am is ideal), so the little ones can fall back asleep for a bit of the drive. Then they always sleep on the last portion, too.
So this advice also works for us because we haven't been successful in spending a night in a hotel. It's such a procedure getting four kids to fall asleep in hotel beds that we'd rather plow through our trip in one long shot.
2.
See it all as part of the experience.
Now we try to be efficient in our timing -- we want to get quickly to our destination so we can enjoy being there. BUT if you view the 16-18 hours in a car as torture to white-knuckle through, the kids will pick up on that. Plan for fun in the car. Don't say "how can we survive this?" but... "how can we most enjoy this as a family?" That way, they might be up to a road trip again the following year!
3.
Surprise bags for everyone!
As part of my "how can we most enjoy this?" attitude, I plan for small stocking-stuffer like things to be opened up at various intervals on the trip. It affords time when they inevitably get squirrely, because I'll point to the dashboard clock and say "in fifteen minutes, you get another surprise bag!" I aim for one about every three hours of awake time in the car.
I buy things like crayons and notepads. Colouring books. Stickers. Window markers. A toonie to buy a snack of their own choosing at the next stop. A lollipop. Small things like that from the Dollar store, and place them in paper bags to "wrap" them. The level of excitement they get over these trinkets is quite sweet, and totally worth it to stretch out the long times between them.
Also... these bags make a discipline tactic. When you're cruising down the highway, how can you put a kid in time-out who keeps poking his brother? Or won't stop whining needlessly? By threatening to take away one of their surprise bags, of course! Works. like. a. charm.
4.
At every stop for gas, everyone uses the toilet...
So, not deep advice. But practical!
We try and make as few stops as possible, so whenever the car isn't in motion, everyone is hustled into the bathroom, to use it (obviously) but also to stretch their legs, see a sight or two, get out of the blasted car for a minutes.
I have had the experience of a kid who claimed they didn't "need to go" when we stopped, but then complaining only ten minutes later that they now do.
So... no more. Everyone goes at each stop. Ditto for diaper changes, breastfeeding.
4.
... But a plastic potty isn't a bad idea.
Even for older children, it's much faster and easier to pull over to the side of the road and have the kid use the potty than to find the next off-ramp for a gas station or a Tim Horton's. I carry zero shame over this life hack. Zero.
5.
At every stop, everyone picks up ______ items of trash.
Our minivan is never especially clean, even in our daily life of just driving to school, Mass, the grocery store, etc. Sigh. But road trips are especially notorious for gathering a thick layer of rubbish all over the floor of the van. Even when I pass around a garbage bag, snack wrappers, the empty bags from the aforementioned surprise bags and other detritus amass. So at every stop, I pick a number at random and tell the kids to pick up that number of items of trash. It keeps me sane and makes the arrival and unpacking less aggravating.
6.
Audio books are your best friend.
Or at least, your very kind neighbour who will watch your kids for an hour while you get your teeth cleaned.
We have an audible subscription and it's served us well at home on many a day, but especially on car rides. Of course, given the age range of our kids (almost 9 down to almost 2), it's not always easy to pick a book that will satisfy all the listeners, so we trade off -- Anna likes "Blueberries for Sal," "The Pout-Pout Fish" and "Harold and the Purple Crayon." So she gets 20 minutes, then the boys get 20 minutes. We all love the Little House series, though. Cherry Jones reads it magnificently. We also all agree on "Henry Huggins," read by Neil Patrick Harris, and "Mr. Popper's Penguins."
7.
Put them in their pyjamas even before you arrive at your destination.
I'm crossing my fingers for everyone's sake that if you're fond of road trips, that your kids actually sleep in the car. If not, well... I don't know what to say.
Our youngest two kids go to bed around 7 (the baby, closer to 6:30) and our oldest two, around 8. So at our stop closest to these bedtimes, we get them in their pyjamas, they unwrap their nighttime Surprise Bag (and... surprise! It's a blanket from a home!), and we say a decade of the Rosary and I sing them their usual lullabies. I try to make it as close to our bedtime routine as possible, because I think the familiarity helps them sleep better. They just feel secure that now it's night time, and a good time to sleep a long time. When they all drift off, which admittedly takes a while for our oldest, as he's a night owl, Patrick and I have a lovely uninterrupted conversation for the remainder of the drive. It's truly one of my favourite "dates" with him of the year (for as you know, I'm not overly hot on dates in the normal sense, anyway).
Our youngest two kids go to bed around 7 (the baby, closer to 6:30) and our oldest two, around 8. So at our stop closest to these bedtimes, we get them in their pyjamas, they unwrap their nighttime Surprise Bag (and... surprise! It's a blanket from a home!), and we say a decade of the Rosary and I sing them their usual lullabies. I try to make it as close to our bedtime routine as possible, because I think the familiarity helps them sleep better. They just feel secure that now it's night time, and a good time to sleep a long time. When they all drift off, which admittedly takes a while for our oldest, as he's a night owl, Patrick and I have a lovely uninterrupted conversation for the remainder of the drive. It's truly one of my favourite "dates" with him of the year (for as you know, I'm not overly hot on dates in the normal sense, anyway).
I truly believe road trips are a fun family excursion! Which is why we're going on one only next week.
Ahem.
Say a prayer for a safe drive because Canada is obnoxious in March; we hope every year it will actually feel like spring, but alas, it almost never does.
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