Anticipating their needs
I feel like I have spent a lot of my "career" as a mom putting out fires, so to speak. I have grown accustomed to living in a state of reaction -- from broken glass, to spilled drinks (or an entire bottle of canola oil on my kitchen floor once), to sibling fights -- I feel like I am two steps behind the next mini-meltdown; I can't begin to say how exhausting this is, because there's never any "progress" made when I am simply responding to the next problem.
The other day, I was thinking about hospitality, and how it's something I want to grow in. There are countless times when I'll have a guest over and the work-from-home husband will quietly slip out of his office to put the kettle on, and he'll politely ask me whether I've offered my company something to drink. Sadly, the answer is regularly "oops, I forgot."
My desire for my guests is to anticipate their needs. How embarrassing -- to wait until they are parched and opening cupboards themselves to find a glass -- to think of offering them something to drink.
I think it's equally important to anticipate needs for my children. In fact, it's even more so.
I wonder how many meltdowns I could have prevented over the years by realizing, "they're overstimulated from being out visiting too long" or "that child could use some extra snuggles today" and responding accordingly.
Apparently, St. Zelie Martin kept detailed records of her children's development. She wrote lengthy letters to loved ones about their interests, difficulties, temperaments and so on. She was a devoted student of her children and in doing so, she was able to attend to them as individuals.
I find this so touching.
I have a blank journal that I had bought some time ago, as I am a bit of a magpie for stationary, and I have made a resolution to write out a few sentences about each of my children each night before bed. Perhaps it will be something sweet they said, perhaps it will be a prayer intention specific to their needs, perhaps it will be an area I need to help them grow in. The simple observations I make over the course of the day are definitely worth writing down...
to help me see them more deeply and accurately and to respond to them more generously.
The other day, I was thinking about hospitality, and how it's something I want to grow in. There are countless times when I'll have a guest over and the work-from-home husband will quietly slip out of his office to put the kettle on, and he'll politely ask me whether I've offered my company something to drink. Sadly, the answer is regularly "oops, I forgot."
My desire for my guests is to anticipate their needs. How embarrassing -- to wait until they are parched and opening cupboards themselves to find a glass -- to think of offering them something to drink.
I think it's equally important to anticipate needs for my children. In fact, it's even more so.
I wonder how many meltdowns I could have prevented over the years by realizing, "they're overstimulated from being out visiting too long" or "that child could use some extra snuggles today" and responding accordingly.
Apparently, St. Zelie Martin kept detailed records of her children's development. She wrote lengthy letters to loved ones about their interests, difficulties, temperaments and so on. She was a devoted student of her children and in doing so, she was able to attend to them as individuals.
I find this so touching.
I have a blank journal that I had bought some time ago, as I am a bit of a magpie for stationary, and I have made a resolution to write out a few sentences about each of my children each night before bed. Perhaps it will be something sweet they said, perhaps it will be a prayer intention specific to their needs, perhaps it will be an area I need to help them grow in. The simple observations I make over the course of the day are definitely worth writing down...
to help me see them more deeply and accurately and to respond to them more generously.
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