Random insomniac musings
This post will most likely be all over the lot, as I am writing at 3:30 in the morning. Oldest Boy has already gotten up twice asking for water and Baby was awake once already. This is typical for the latter, very atypical for the former. Anyway I am tired. I expect I will be running on only one cylinder today. So I apologize for sounding out of it; I am.
Seven Quick Takes
1. I just had a most wonderful few days with my dear friend. We haven't seen each other since last summer and even then, that was only for about one hour. She played with my kids, did the dishes (!) and joined us at beach trips. I selfishly admit that my favourite part of her visit was when we went out after the kids were in bed for martinis.
2. I regret having not done more fun things with said friend. I wanted to keep up our routine around the house of snacktimes, mealtimes, naptimes and so on, but let's face it, my kids nap abysmally (ABYSSSSMALLY) so we could have easily gone into the city to do touristy things and it wouldn't have been that interrupting. I think I gave her a slice of how rather boring and quiet our life is, and I am sorry for that.
3. I have a few prayer intentions . They seem silly to ask the wider world to pray for, but I feel desperate:
a) I will be doing my road test soon. I'm not sure when because my driver's ed teacher is in charge of booking it, but he told me last week that if I was doing my road test that day, I would have passed. Please pray I will. My whole family has suffered for long enough with me not driving.
b) Please pray for our toilet training. Dearest Noah had pretty good success with peeing in the potty -- it only took about three days for him to learn -- but not with bowel movements. It became a constant struggle and I was getting so FED UP with cleaning soiled underwear. I know I reacted badly and angrily to him and I am still so sad about this. Because of my frustration, he started having lots (and I mean LOTS) of accidents with pee too. I just gave up and put him back into diapers because I was miserable and sobbing myself to sleep or being angry towards him (or both) every day. But now I have a three year old in diapers and no idea what to do to actually train him. And my mothering insecurity is pretty high about this. No criticisms please. Just prayer.
c) Please pray for my moods. They are really up and down again. I think lack of sleep is one factor, and yes, oddly, I have discovered a correlation between eating wheat and me feeling blue. I just don't always *want* to give up wheat. I mean, my homemade bread is kind of to die for.
I know mental health has never been my strong suit, and I also knew going into parenting that the days would be long with little ones, but I guess I am sad that they are as long as they are. So many days from 2pm on all I can think is, "Thank God Patrick is off work at 5." I am not depressed per say, just tired. Maybe "drained" would be a better word. And having a night out with a friend made me realize I need to do this more. (Again, an advantage of me driving; I could actually leave the house! Even on my own! Gasp!)
4. In happy news, I made chive blossom vinegar. Rather, it's steeping on my window sill right now. It looks so cheery and every time I glance at it, I have the satisfaction of knowing "I made chive blossom vinegar!"
5. Noah was feeling sentimental at bedtime the other night and asked for one more song after I had already sang him two, and then with a quivering lip said "Mommy I don't want to go to heaven." "Why, sweetheart?" "Because then I'll never get to be an altar boy." I told him that God wanted him with us for a good long time so he could serve Him but that didn't make sense to him. So in a moment of inspiration I told him "you can be an altar boy in heaven, too" and his previously crumpled face relaxed into contentment and he nestled into his pillow ready for sweet dreams.
6. Isaiah is getting very close to walking. We are all so excited for this. He does hold onto our hands and take steps, looking as proud as a peacock, and I adore the sight of it. I really think the boys will be even better playmates when they can both walk and run together.
7. Patrick is taking a long weekend next week, and we'll also celebrate our fourth anniversary. Sadly, though, today is also the fourth anniversary of my cousin's passing. Actually, come to think of it, I'll add this to my prayer requests -- please pray for my cousin and all our family, who are still grieving his untimely and very tragic death.
God bless your weekend!
Seven Quick Takes
1. I just had a most wonderful few days with my dear friend. We haven't seen each other since last summer and even then, that was only for about one hour. She played with my kids, did the dishes (!) and joined us at beach trips. I selfishly admit that my favourite part of her visit was when we went out after the kids were in bed for martinis.
2. I regret having not done more fun things with said friend. I wanted to keep up our routine around the house of snacktimes, mealtimes, naptimes and so on, but let's face it, my kids nap abysmally (ABYSSSSMALLY) so we could have easily gone into the city to do touristy things and it wouldn't have been that interrupting. I think I gave her a slice of how rather boring and quiet our life is, and I am sorry for that.
3. I have a few prayer intentions . They seem silly to ask the wider world to pray for, but I feel desperate:
a) I will be doing my road test soon. I'm not sure when because my driver's ed teacher is in charge of booking it, but he told me last week that if I was doing my road test that day, I would have passed. Please pray I will. My whole family has suffered for long enough with me not driving.
b) Please pray for our toilet training. Dearest Noah had pretty good success with peeing in the potty -- it only took about three days for him to learn -- but not with bowel movements. It became a constant struggle and I was getting so FED UP with cleaning soiled underwear. I know I reacted badly and angrily to him and I am still so sad about this. Because of my frustration, he started having lots (and I mean LOTS) of accidents with pee too. I just gave up and put him back into diapers because I was miserable and sobbing myself to sleep or being angry towards him (or both) every day. But now I have a three year old in diapers and no idea what to do to actually train him. And my mothering insecurity is pretty high about this. No criticisms please. Just prayer.
c) Please pray for my moods. They are really up and down again. I think lack of sleep is one factor, and yes, oddly, I have discovered a correlation between eating wheat and me feeling blue. I just don't always *want* to give up wheat. I mean, my homemade bread is kind of to die for.
I know mental health has never been my strong suit, and I also knew going into parenting that the days would be long with little ones, but I guess I am sad that they are as long as they are. So many days from 2pm on all I can think is, "Thank God Patrick is off work at 5." I am not depressed per say, just tired. Maybe "drained" would be a better word. And having a night out with a friend made me realize I need to do this more. (Again, an advantage of me driving; I could actually leave the house! Even on my own! Gasp!)
4. In happy news, I made chive blossom vinegar. Rather, it's steeping on my window sill right now. It looks so cheery and every time I glance at it, I have the satisfaction of knowing "I made chive blossom vinegar!"
5. Noah was feeling sentimental at bedtime the other night and asked for one more song after I had already sang him two, and then with a quivering lip said "Mommy I don't want to go to heaven." "Why, sweetheart?" "Because then I'll never get to be an altar boy." I told him that God wanted him with us for a good long time so he could serve Him but that didn't make sense to him. So in a moment of inspiration I told him "you can be an altar boy in heaven, too" and his previously crumpled face relaxed into contentment and he nestled into his pillow ready for sweet dreams.
6. Isaiah is getting very close to walking. We are all so excited for this. He does hold onto our hands and take steps, looking as proud as a peacock, and I adore the sight of it. I really think the boys will be even better playmates when they can both walk and run together.
7. Patrick is taking a long weekend next week, and we'll also celebrate our fourth anniversary. Sadly, though, today is also the fourth anniversary of my cousin's passing. Actually, come to think of it, I'll add this to my prayer requests -- please pray for my cousin and all our family, who are still grieving his untimely and very tragic death.
God bless your weekend!
Hey Jenna,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you were able to spend time with your friend and go out together to enjoy some time. It's amazing isn't it how even just a few hours out and about without little ones can refresh us and remind us that there is a big ole world out there! :)
Yay for getting your driver's license! That is great news and I will say some prayers that you pass with flying colors. I will also say some prayers for the toilet training..I struggled so much with Lucy and not so much how well she was or wasn't doing but just me having to find patience through the whole process. It will come, I promise! :)
Praying for your road test Jenna - don't get discouraged if you fail.....I just got mine in January and I failed twice before the third time taking it when I passed - I just got so nervous. I am so happy that you are doing so well with the drivers ed - I did that too and it helped so much because driving made me so nervous.
ReplyDeleteone handed typing. i will pray. you don't sound depressed, just normal. esp. when all the kids were under five i felt like the days were interminable. now, they pass soooo quickly. things really change when the age of reason arrives. i know what you mean about wheat, i can't give it up again - too hard.
ReplyDeleteI miss you, Jenna! Your voice comes out so nicely in your writing -- and I don't think you sound depressed either, but real! Thank you for sharing about your little family. Even though we haven't seen each other since Noah was a wee little one, I feel like I know your boys -- they are precious and beautiful, just like their mamma and papa! You're growing little saints.
ReplyDelete