A resolution.
I know it's selfish, but I have found myself being bogged down with this thought for the past few months: my house bugs me.
No, not the state of its tidiness -- but there is that -- but mostly, the house itself. I go about my day, silently complaining off and on about the various things about my house that bug me.
Oh, why does the washer and dryer need to be in the front entrance? Unless everything is constantly put away immediately, our visitors see and hear our clothes being washed and the various pieces that are folded and waiting to be dragged back upstairs (when I don't have one, or two, young kids in my arms).
Why does it have to be so close to the road? It doesn't make for a great place to let kids run around and play without and adult close by or unless we build an expensive fence.
Why does it have to be so inefficiently laid out? There's a decent amount of square-footage but no dining room, and only two bedrooms. Our family of four with a work-at-home daddy is crowding it already!
and so on.
I know, I know, it all sounds so selfish, because we own a home for goodness sake! I know intellectually how wonderful that is, but I still have been finding myself downright annoyed by the particular house we own.
If you think this makes me a big brat, it gets worse. I was speaking on the phone with a priest-friend of ours on something unrelated when I conveyed my annoyance at our home. He just stopped me and said, "Well it seems obvious that the Lord has a reason for you to be there. The few times I've been in your home, I thought what a tremendous blessing it is that you live across the street from the church, and in such a quiet neighbourhood."
I agreed with him, but again, in an only intellectual-way. I was feeling pouty, and I wanted to hold onto my bad mood!
But then I remembered this photo, one that my friend's mom took of our house.
She posted it into her Facebook account, and when I was clicking through photos, about six months ago when she took this, Noah looked at it and said, "Jesus pointing at our house."
Oh, that's right. He is.
Perhaps our priest friend is right.
So, since it is a New Year, I am adding one more resolution to my list -- to stop complaining, even to myself, about our house, and start asking God how to make it even more home-y.
(In case you were wondering, my other resolutions are: more red wine and more Chesterton. They don't seem especially deep but they're my practical way of carving out more time for feasting and celebrating. 2012 is going to be a year for JOY!)
No, not the state of its tidiness -- but there is that -- but mostly, the house itself. I go about my day, silently complaining off and on about the various things about my house that bug me.
Oh, why does the washer and dryer need to be in the front entrance? Unless everything is constantly put away immediately, our visitors see and hear our clothes being washed and the various pieces that are folded and waiting to be dragged back upstairs (when I don't have one, or two, young kids in my arms).
Why does it have to be so close to the road? It doesn't make for a great place to let kids run around and play without and adult close by or unless we build an expensive fence.
Why does it have to be so inefficiently laid out? There's a decent amount of square-footage but no dining room, and only two bedrooms. Our family of four with a work-at-home daddy is crowding it already!
and so on.
I know, I know, it all sounds so selfish, because we own a home for goodness sake! I know intellectually how wonderful that is, but I still have been finding myself downright annoyed by the particular house we own.
If you think this makes me a big brat, it gets worse. I was speaking on the phone with a priest-friend of ours on something unrelated when I conveyed my annoyance at our home. He just stopped me and said, "Well it seems obvious that the Lord has a reason for you to be there. The few times I've been in your home, I thought what a tremendous blessing it is that you live across the street from the church, and in such a quiet neighbourhood."
I agreed with him, but again, in an only intellectual-way. I was feeling pouty, and I wanted to hold onto my bad mood!
But then I remembered this photo, one that my friend's mom took of our house.
She posted it into her Facebook account, and when I was clicking through photos, about six months ago when she took this, Noah looked at it and said, "Jesus pointing at our house."
Oh, that's right. He is.
Perhaps our priest friend is right.
So, since it is a New Year, I am adding one more resolution to my list -- to stop complaining, even to myself, about our house, and start asking God how to make it even more home-y.
(In case you were wondering, my other resolutions are: more red wine and more Chesterton. They don't seem especially deep but they're my practical way of carving out more time for feasting and celebrating. 2012 is going to be a year for JOY!)
You're house looks lovely from the outside Jenna! And the few pictures that I've seen from within look cozy too! I understand some of your complains, as they are very similar to mine (laundry room/mudroom combination, house close to the road etc.), but then my husband always reminds me that this is where we are supposed to be right now. I look outside and see my garden, I see the good that we do have (despite the small house size) and somehow it all becomes right again. It is a process. What a gift to live so close to Jesus...you could practically run over to pray with the baby monitor in hand while your kiddos sleep at night. Wouldn't that be nice?
ReplyDeleteFunny, I had no idea that your house would look like that from the outside - are there really only two bedrooms in there? I love the shape of your house and its proximity to the church and the pine ceilings and the green cupboards in the kitchen. I do sympathise with you as I imagine eevry mom who stays at home does. After all, we spend a heck of a lot of time in our homes and thus they become the object of much criticism on our parts. I find the best thing for me is when I go away for a week or so and return home with fresh eyes. I imagine that the way we look at our houses is probably the way we approach ourselves with such self-criticism.
ReplyDeleteYay! More Wine and Chesterton and fabulous resolutions! I approve!
ReplyDeleteYour house looks so wonderful! And I'd cry if I was so close to a Church, we've only got one Mass a week in the town nearest us, and a chance at a weekday Mass is at least an hour drive ONE WAY, which makes it just plain ridiculous with 4 littles. I try to go once a month by myself, but its not the same! And I love my home because its my home, but I just can't help but keep wishing for more space!! I feel the same brattish-ness too, we've so lucky to have what we have. Good resolution Jenna!
Thank you for the encouragement, ladies, not to mention a wake-up call that we have it pretty good living closer to the church than even the rectory. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd Christy, I thought you'd appreciate my wine/Chesterton resolution. I'm not really into hobbies so much, so wine & reading it is! Sounds like the ideal me-time!