The power of sisterhood
A few weeks ago, I was honoured by a friend of mine who offered to host for me a Blessingway.
This is a traditional Navajo rite in which an expectant mother is surrounded by other women to give her strength and support as she makes her preparations for the labour, birth and, of course, raising of her little child. (My Blessingway was of a distinctly Catholic nature, however.)
The day was such an amazing gift to me. I described it later to a very hip young mother -- who also happens to be a doula -- as being paradoxically humbling, edifying, and empowering all at one time. She has had several Blessingways in her honour, and also hosted them for other women, so she seemed to understand what I was trying to say.
I have been thinking about childbirth a lot lately -- for obvious reasons -- and one thing that keeps coming to mind is the sisterhood that our culture previously attached to it. Women would give birth surrounded by female relatives and community members who would be on hand to offer the labouring mother support, to help with housework and looking after her other children, and so on. While these tasks can be accomplished by hired help, for sure, there is something so powerful about the presence of loved ones doing this.
That is part of the reason why this Blessingway was so important for me. Everyone so kindly pampered me -- everything from crowning me with flowers to giving me a pedicure and hand-massage to praying a decade of the Rosary for my intentions -- which made me feel so supported and loved. Even though time has passed since then, I still can feel strongly the support of these women and their thoughtfulness.
Amazingly enough, the circle of female support doesn't just end there. Rather it extends all the way from here to Nova Scotia and many places in between. I say this because I am so blessed that I will have my mother with me as I welcome my baby into the world. I didn't realize just how much I need her until I was engaged, and then married, and being pregnant, well, we went from talking on the phone once every 10 days to talking daily. I love her so much and me and my DH are beyond blessed to have her coming to be with us soon.
Furthermore, if Little Baby Craine co-operates, and comes on time, my dear sister will also come visit us soon after, with her husband and GORGEOUS daughter in tow (and no, I'm not biased towards my niece's beauty. Even my co-workers ask to see pictures of her; she's just that cute.). This is a special blessing because my sister herself is expecting!, and having babies so close together has brought us closer to each other -- in a vulnerable, occasionally difficult way -- than I could have ever imagined.
You'd think that being supported in prayer by my friends and joined by these amazing women in my family was already more love than one woman could hande. But truly, my cup runneth over as I am also blessed to know that I will have two more women there to support me: my wonderful midwife and doula. Certainly they're not as close to me as my family and friends, but they continue on the circle of womanly support for me and I can draw on the wisdom and experience both of them have with pregnancy and childbirth.
I really don't know what else to say about life right now except that I feel truly blessed.
P.S. When I was googling a picture to put on this entry, I discovered that almost every photo listed under "sisterhood" was from the film, "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants." Somehow, that tooth-clenched kid from the "Gilmore Girls" didn't seem applicable to my feelings on motherhood.
This is a traditional Navajo rite in which an expectant mother is surrounded by other women to give her strength and support as she makes her preparations for the labour, birth and, of course, raising of her little child. (My Blessingway was of a distinctly Catholic nature, however.)
The day was such an amazing gift to me. I described it later to a very hip young mother -- who also happens to be a doula -- as being paradoxically humbling, edifying, and empowering all at one time. She has had several Blessingways in her honour, and also hosted them for other women, so she seemed to understand what I was trying to say.
I have been thinking about childbirth a lot lately -- for obvious reasons -- and one thing that keeps coming to mind is the sisterhood that our culture previously attached to it. Women would give birth surrounded by female relatives and community members who would be on hand to offer the labouring mother support, to help with housework and looking after her other children, and so on. While these tasks can be accomplished by hired help, for sure, there is something so powerful about the presence of loved ones doing this.
That is part of the reason why this Blessingway was so important for me. Everyone so kindly pampered me -- everything from crowning me with flowers to giving me a pedicure and hand-massage to praying a decade of the Rosary for my intentions -- which made me feel so supported and loved. Even though time has passed since then, I still can feel strongly the support of these women and their thoughtfulness.
Amazingly enough, the circle of female support doesn't just end there. Rather it extends all the way from here to Nova Scotia and many places in between. I say this because I am so blessed that I will have my mother with me as I welcome my baby into the world. I didn't realize just how much I need her until I was engaged, and then married, and being pregnant, well, we went from talking on the phone once every 10 days to talking daily. I love her so much and me and my DH are beyond blessed to have her coming to be with us soon.
Furthermore, if Little Baby Craine co-operates, and comes on time, my dear sister will also come visit us soon after, with her husband and GORGEOUS daughter in tow (and no, I'm not biased towards my niece's beauty. Even my co-workers ask to see pictures of her; she's just that cute.). This is a special blessing because my sister herself is expecting!, and having babies so close together has brought us closer to each other -- in a vulnerable, occasionally difficult way -- than I could have ever imagined.
You'd think that being supported in prayer by my friends and joined by these amazing women in my family was already more love than one woman could hande. But truly, my cup runneth over as I am also blessed to know that I will have two more women there to support me: my wonderful midwife and doula. Certainly they're not as close to me as my family and friends, but they continue on the circle of womanly support for me and I can draw on the wisdom and experience both of them have with pregnancy and childbirth.
I really don't know what else to say about life right now except that I feel truly blessed.
P.S. When I was googling a picture to put on this entry, I discovered that almost every photo listed under "sisterhood" was from the film, "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants." Somehow, that tooth-clenched kid from the "Gilmore Girls" didn't seem applicable to my feelings on motherhood.
I remember feeling very fortunate to have my mother AND mother-in-law in the delivery room with Francis and me while I was in labour. Not that Francis was lacking in the support he offered me, but - like you said - there's something powerful about having other women around. Of course they weren't able to come into the OR when Norah was actually born, but they were waiting at my bedside when I was released from the recovery room.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Do people REALLY think Norah's that cute? I'm definitely the most biased of all...
P.P.S. Too bad it was the Traveling Pants that showed up, and not "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood".
Yes, they all curl up around my computer and say, "ooooh is that your niece?!" and then demand to watch videos of her too! This is not a joke! Norah is a celebrity!
ReplyDelete